A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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