I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
