Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
