whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Randomize
