is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
