I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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