Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
ok first of all what the fuck
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
