the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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