I accidentally had phone sex last night
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
