please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
