lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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