As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
