when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
