More tranny stories later!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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