i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
