The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
