you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
