Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
