it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
