never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
