Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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