we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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