After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
