im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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