i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
