just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
two words: eviction party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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