Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
