used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
