now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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