to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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