Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
