Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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