FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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