so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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