I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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