He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
