i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
