get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
