I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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