it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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