I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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