I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
