When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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