I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
