Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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