yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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