i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Pants are for mortals
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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