yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
