Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
