well you can't waste a boner
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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