Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
